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Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Cobs.........The Dickhead Factor of New years eve

New years, what a day, night etc. Enjoying ourselves down in Batemans Bay for an extended weekend. Good weather, good times. At the end of this weekend it was time to pack up and head back home with the other 50 000 Canberrans that wished they lived somewhere other than Canberra. Mood was cruisey and the fuel in the car was low. Thus we needed to stop in at the fuel station before we made the trek back up The Clyde, about 50 others had the same idea and everyone was lining up patiently to get their turn on a bowser.

It was a the standard fuel station setup 4 or 5 lanes with 2 pumps per lane. 100% efficiency is rarely achieved with this setup, but it is still the best. One car will get the first bowser and the car behind will get to the second. Naturally with this system the car getting there first will fill up and pay first and be on their way before the second driver. This gap is then compounded if the car in front only needs to fill up a  little and the 2nd car needs a lot. This day in question I was the 2nd car and I needed a whole tank. There was a long line of cars behind me which had been the norm all morning. I filled up and paid and when getting back to my car this old guy in a Range Rover revved his engine aggressively at me.

Having had lined up for an unusual length of time to get fuel and experienced that same feeling you get on a long haul flight (I need to be here, theres not much a I can do so just put up with it) This made me snap, “That’s fucking unnecessary,” was my reply. The guys engine was revving so loud that I couldn’t hear anything he was saying back. I didn’t care, I was in the Supermarket Sweep of arguments, nothing mattered. I just needed to fill my trolley with as many insults as I could in a short amount of time.

After about a 15 second barrage of insults, with neither of us probably hearing what the other said, I got back in my car. My final victory would be employing the go-slow tactic of leaving the petrol pump. I sat down in my seat, checked everything. Then rolled forward for about 2 seconds and put the brakes on. Waited for a bit more, then rolled forward again, slowed down and then left. What a moral victory. After this it got me thinking where does this leave me and the other driver. How big of dickheads are we? I seem to walk that fine line between being an aggressive dickhead, passionately reasonable and consciously contrary.

On this occasion I believe I was the first two, aggressive dickhead with a hint of being reasonable in standing up for myself. With employing the go-slow tactics on leave, I was just being a passive-aggressive dickhead. This was no gain to anyone other than my own twisted ego. Then after all these thoughts it got me thinking about how many times I have been on the other side, being the aggressor and starting a petty squabble like this. I have no intentions of changing my ways, there comes a time when you are a dickhead but think you are being reasonable and and also times where you think you’ve just been a dickhead felt guilty about the situation and someone has given you the reassuring “Nahh, all good.”

If you want more Dickheads observations check out the latest episode below

Cobs - The dhead Factor

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